March 21, 2009

Disclaimer Dates


I've been in a bit of a dating "dry spell "as of late, which seems to make some people uncomfortable, or at least it bothers them more than it does me. I've been busy with other things, and ever since I came to the conclusion that I'm no longer willing to suffer through dates with guys who don't really interest me, I haven't actively given dating much thought. However, this hasn't stopped some well-intentioned friends and acquaintances from offering to introduce me to a still-single guy friend or relative of theirs, the numbers of whom seem to be dwindling by the day. While normally this wouldn't bug me, I've begun to notice a trend in their approach, one that disturbs me quite a bit.

The suggestion starts innocently enough-- they want to introduce me to their co-worker/husband's friend/brother-in-law who is both attractive and available. Unfortunately, the next sentence that comes out of their mouth is some variation of, "He's such a great guy, but... " It's the word "but" that makes me cut them off-- guys shouldn't come with warning labels! And besides, the last time I let someone finish that sentence, I very nearly went on a date with a great guy... but, he still lived with his dad-- because he was evading creditors-- and his stunning inability to pass the random drug tests at work had earned him the nickname "Dirty".

Well... sign me up?!? Score.

Other recent date suggestions have included dinner with a guy who forces his dates to pick the wine, just so he can subsequently spend the next three hours mocking their choice (I know next to nothing about wines, so said guy would have had a heyday... at my expense), and a trip to the zoo with a guy named "Buddha"-- as in 'looks like the'-- to see the walruses. I'm not even touching that one!

Seriously, people-- I can do better!

I find it odd that that some of the people who know me best want to set me up with guys who have such glaring, deal-breaking flaws. Then, I had an even more disturbing thought... am I... a disclaimer date?!? I can't think of any reason why I would be, and the friends I've cornered about the matter have insisted that I am not. And although I'd like to think they'd tell me if I was, I'm suddenly not so sure. Are they approaching their single guy friends, saying, "You should really meet my friend Allison! She's such a great gal, but..."

I simply refuse to believe that all the good guys out there have been taken, and I'm just not willing to settle for a disclaimer date. Not at this time. So friends, if you know an eligible guy you'd like me to meet, as long as you can tell me about him without grimacing, I'm all ears! And to the eligible guys, if you don't need a green card, and you have a similar aversion to the thought of disclaimer dating, let's talk. I'd like know more about you, and let you know more about me-- no 'ifs', 'ands', or 'buts' about it.

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